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Once upon a time, in the hustle and bustle of corporate life, I found myself nodding along in a meeting, suppressing the urge to share my ideas. Later, I was filled with regret, wishing I had spoken up when I had the chance. But it wasn't just in the workplace that I struggled to find my voice; it seeped into my personal life too. At an office party over the summer, a colleague made a comment about my decision to return to work early after having a baby. Although I wanted to fiercely defend my decision, I found myself smiling politely to hide my frustration. My face turned red; I wanted to shout, "It's none of your business, it's my life, my choice! Who the hell are you?" Instead, I hit myself. That's when I realised there was something wrong with me and I couldn't take it anymore. It was at moments like this that I realized something was holding me back, something deep and rooted inside me.

I decided to seek professional help to understand my underlying need for this quiet behavior of mine. During my first session, I uncovered a familiar pattern in my family - one where speaking up was discouraged, opinions were silenced and needs were brushed aside. Children were always told to be quiet, and not to speak when others were speaking, which meant they were constantly suppressing their thoughts and needs. I noticed the same pattern in my mother; she too found it difficult to share her feelings or use her voice against anyone. Determined to break this cycle, I made a conscious decision to face my fears and insecurities. I refused to let my silence define me or dictate my child's future. One thing my coach told me was that if I didn't work enough on myself to break this pattern, I would unconsciously pass it on to my child, and that made me wake up from within.

I began to understand the profound impact of empowering children to speak up and assert themselves. It wasn't just about overcoming shyness or fear; it was about instilling a sense of confidence and autonomy from an early age. And guess what? I heard countless parents say that their child was shy or wouldn't fight for what was right. After one or two sessions with parents, I realized that it's also their family pattern where children are not encouraged to share their feelings or speak up. Their voice has been suppressed.

It's not about the child being shy or not speaking up. It's about us not empowering our child enough to speak up in everyday tasks, or not being able to understand the child's emotional needs. How many of you can relate to this? Don't forget to tell me in the comments. Why do I ask? Because once you accept that you can relate, you are more likely to feel the urge to break this pattern like I did, so that you don't pass it on to your children.

I am going to share some of the secret sauce that I have learned during my coaching and some conscious parenting techniques that I have used with my child to empower him. Instead of giving instant answers, I encourage my child to explore his own thoughts and ideas. For example, when my son asked about a solar eclipse, I responded, "What do you think a solar eclipse is?" This approach encourages curiosity and critical thinking. You'll be amazed at what they come up with; it's full of creativity and imagination and always brings a smile to your face with new perspectives.

I involve my child in family decisions from an early age. In the beginning, I would give him a choice, like a red t-shirt or a black t-shirt, and ask him to point. "Which game do you want to play? Bring it, you make the rules." No matter how small. Now he is eight years old, and I involve him in decorating the room or deciding what to have for dinner. Giving him a say validates his feelings and empowers him to make choices. I also resist the urge to speak on my child's behalf in social situations. I encourage him to answer questions and express himself independently. For example, when a neighbor asked about school, I encouraged my son to answer, which built his confidence and communication skills.

I also encourage the habit of self-reflection by discussing decisions and their outcomes with my child. I asked him what went well and what could have been done differently. This helps him learn from his experiences and make informed decisions in the future. I set an example by demonstrating assertive communication in my interactions with others. I show my child how to express his thoughts and feelings respectfully, even in challenging situations.