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- 👩👦"Do Your Kids Slow You Down From Your Goals?"
👩👦"Do Your Kids Slow You Down From Your Goals?"
(5 Minute Read) Feel like your wants and desires not being met?
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The other day, during a tutoring session, we took a ten-minute break to play games before resuming their homework. One of my students used my laptop, and the other used my phone. While logging in to the game for the students and getting it set up for them, one of the students expressed the desire to set it up themselves. I declined, saying, 'No, I'll do it to speed up the process so that you all can play sooner.
Looking back, I wonder why I was in such a rush. Why was I so focused on getting this done quickly? I knew I was trying to use our time wisely; however, would an extra 30 seconds hurt? It felt like if I let him do it, he would be slowing me down.
Gif by masterchef on Giphy
What got me really thinking about this is how much he wanted to do it on his own, and my only focus was on getting to the next thing. Not realizing the opportunity I had right in front of me to guide him through his independence. It can be so easy to get caught up in our own agenda, thinking it's best for the child, and miss out on a greater opportunity.
Introducing kids into the picture may lead to extra messes, consume time meant for hobbies, and leave you feeling like there's not enough time in the day. But before we delve further into this conversation, take a moment to support the sponsor we love today. Here's a quick ad for them.
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Amidst the ever-changing landscape of life and economic challenges that weigh on the average person's finances, it's tempting to adopt tunnel vision for mere survival. We often find ourselves imposing strict budgets and schedules, recognizing the unfair twists life can throw our way. As we immerse ourselves in the grind, we extend this mindset to our children, urging them to join us in the pursuit of survival.
The challenge lies in the fact that kids may not fully comprehend, and perhaps won't perceive, all the nuances we've gleaned through years of experience. This disconnect can lead to stress, a sense of solitude within our own homes, and the perception that our children are impeding our progress toward goals that would benefit the entire family.
Nevertheless, if we sense that our goals and desires aren't consistently being met, should prioritizing those particular goals be our top focus? In my work with students, I often heard from others that before my arrival, the students were quite challenging. People would describe their goal as maintaining order and having everything under control. However, once I arrived, the situation underwent a complete turnaround. Each time I heard this, I simply considered that my primary goal was to accept them for who they are and build trust.
After we built that trust, it made a world of difference in getting them to listen. I never pushed them to do things my way; I knew we'd get there, sooner or later. But when I was setting up the game earlier, all I could think about was the clock ticking on their break time. I lost a bit of patience in that moment, putting my goal of not slowing down ahead of just accepting them for who they are—even if it meant adding a mere 30 seconds to the clock.
*Please give a gentle round of applause too…*
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